I know I’ve been MIA for a little while but I’ve been going through a little bit of a summer slump…. Over the past week and a half I have come to the realization that I’m addicted to food. I have noticed that all of my recent pictures in my phone are of food:
Ok, I know I’ve already shown you that last picture, but yesterday I found myself at Sunflour again (yes, I’m aware it’s been less than a week) and I went in with the idea of getting 1 cupcake and came out with 2 cupcakes, a peanut butter cookie sandwich and an orange hazelnut croissant roll. Everything I’ve been thinking about lately has been food related and it’s definitely starting to show on my body.
I am usually a person that has serious control over myself. I get it in my mind that I’m going to do something (or not do something) and I stick with it. That is why I’m able to make it to the gym twice a day. I’ve committed myself to it and that’s that.
I don’t know what it is about food but I cannot gain control of myself. And I’m frustrated. Extremely frustrated. I feel as though there’s no point in me going to the gym twice a day if I continue to not see results because I can’t keep my diet under control. Obviously now is the time I really need to get in there twice a day with all the calories I’ve been consuming (c’mon…. I just ate blueberry cannoli pancakes AND hashbrowns, sausage and 2 eggs for breakfast this morning at Ihop) but I am getting defeated by my own self.
I was in the mindset that this summer would be the time I would take to get myself under control since I have the ability to go to the gym as often as I want, but anytime I’m not there I find myself eating. Now I’m just counting down the days to get back into work because I’m hoping I won’t have the time to think about food.
Honestly, I think it all began when I started going to personal training sessions back in February. I was given a meal plan and did the best I could to stick to it. The meal plan forced me to eat 6 meals a day rather than the 3 I typically ate. Let me just tell you I’ve never been a snacker. That was something I had control over for myself and I stuck to it. This meal plan encouraged me to snack (on healthy foods of course… my morning snack was typically a protein shake or some fruit and yogurt, my afternoon snack was a protein shake or part of a sweet potato and my “dessert” was a casein protein shake) and pretty soon I just got used to the fact that I was always supposed to be eating something (or at least that’s what it felt like coming from a person who only ate every 5 hours or so). Once personal training ended, I thought that I could incorporate some of my other foods back into my diet and just eat smaller portions. Once I became fully aware of what I was doing, I realized that I was eating the same foods I would eat before I ever trained with someone else AND I was adding extra snacks in on top of that. I was probably eating a 2000-3000 calorie diet EVERY DAY.
Yes, it is important to up your calorie intake if you’re going hard at the gym in order to fuel your body appropriately, but I was eating a morning snack and a dessert (not a casein shake dessert either- a real dessert). So I went to Cincinatti my first week of summer break to do some work related things and was served all of my meals there as a part of the deal. The meals that were served included a lot of mystery foods (mystery eggs, mystery chicken, mystery wet feeling scones, you get the picture) so I ended up eating a lot of salads. I came back from the trip with a smaller appetite and felt like I was finally on the right track again. Well, as I’ve mentioned in previous posts, when you get George and I together on our days off we base those days around food. Now I’m back to ingesting a 2-3000 calorie/day menu again. I can’t get out of this slump and I feel like I’m on a downward spiral towards obesity. Yes, seriously. If I can’t get this under control there is no way I will be able to work out enough to counteract my food intake.
So my question to you is…. do you ever get addicted to food? If so, what do you do to distract yourself from these addictions to get them to stop? What are some daytime date ideas that you have that may help keep both George and I AWAY from focusing on food constantly?
Any tips I can get would be greatly appreciated. I know a food addiction sounds like it’s not that bad but food is my drug. I am starting to see negative side effects and the fact that my thoughts focus solely on food from the second I wake up in the morning until I go to bed at night is worrisome. I didn’t think I had an addictive personality but maybe I’m wrong. I just want to get to a point in my life where I can focus more on living my life rather than eating my way through it and I hope someone out there has something valuable to share with me.